Sunday, August 16, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
New Player Same Fights
You know, i thought it would be different.
At the beginning it was different. It was nice & comfy, and felt safe.
Just before a year pass.... the fights begin.
Getting tired of this.
Getting numb.
Tired of trying to fix things.
No matter how much you love that thing.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Breakup sucks
No matter how many times we've been thru it, it still sucks.
There is no getting used to break up.
Why? Coz it hurts our feelings & bruise our egos.
What's the reason this time?
Same old. And we realize we don't have the same vision for the future.
She wants to get married.
And i'm still stuck with my family.
I can't be blunt about us to them right now.
And i don't know until when.
And as much as i care about her
i'm not sure if i do want to spend eternity with her.
Now she's pissed at me
coz i don't want to see her
coz i don't want to repeat that pattern again
she text me shitty stuff.
After all this time & all the experience
it still sucks.
There is no getting used to break up.
Why? Coz it hurts our feelings & bruise our egos.
What's the reason this time?
Same old. And we realize we don't have the same vision for the future.
She wants to get married.
And i'm still stuck with my family.
I can't be blunt about us to them right now.
And i don't know until when.
And as much as i care about her
i'm not sure if i do want to spend eternity with her.
Now she's pissed at me
coz i don't want to see her
coz i don't want to repeat that pattern again
she text me shitty stuff.
After all this time & all the experience
it still sucks.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Compromise
Last weekend we went to a chinese noodle eatery. She bought us fortune cookies.
Her's said something like "You can defeat and conquer any obstacle that lays in front."
Mine said:
She laughed and said how true it is.
Yeah, rite.
Her's said something like "You can defeat and conquer any obstacle that lays in front."
Mine said:
She laughed and said how true it is.
Yeah, rite.
The not so over game over
The reason i haven't post in a while is the status of our relationship.
I seriously though after the last post, we are over. But can you guess how many times we've said we are over this past almost 2 years? I can't even count it with my fingers and my feet fingers, and the fingers of the lady sitting next to me. (Ok, there is no lady sitting next to me, just a painting of a lady).
But really really, i really thought this was over. I even go to lengths to decline making love to her. Hugging is ok, kissing not on the lips and so forth. Yet i still go to her house, we still have dinner at my town's swankiest new establishment, Loewy, where every cream from the top crop to the fraiche is there thinking we're still couples.
And then it happened. I got sick. She tended me. I missed her. Stayed over. And the rest of the over can go to the rubbish bin with the 298723578932504 rest of it.
Jesus what is wrong with me? What is wrong with us?
I seriously though after the last post, we are over. But can you guess how many times we've said we are over this past almost 2 years? I can't even count it with my fingers and my feet fingers, and the fingers of the lady sitting next to me. (Ok, there is no lady sitting next to me, just a painting of a lady).
But really really, i really thought this was over. I even go to lengths to decline making love to her. Hugging is ok, kissing not on the lips and so forth. Yet i still go to her house, we still have dinner at my town's swankiest new establishment, Loewy, where every cream from the top crop to the fraiche is there thinking we're still couples.
And then it happened. I got sick. She tended me. I missed her. Stayed over. And the rest of the over can go to the rubbish bin with the 298723578932504 rest of it.
Jesus what is wrong with me? What is wrong with us?
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Time alone
If i want to go home straight to my house from the office,
she'll go bananas on me.
She would slyly say
The actuality is, we did spend time yesterday, okay so it was also with 2 other friends. And then on easter, we went to church together, had dinner together. And the day before, almost the whole day.
So what's up with this "i can handle it" crap? She wants to put more concrete block on my shoulder? She trying to make me feel guilty? She even go as far as saying "well, appreciate me please. I already give this night up didn't i?"
GAH!
she'll go bananas on me.
She would slyly say
Oh, you want some time alone.. I thought since we didn't spend time together yesterday... Well, it's okay i can handle it.
The actuality is, we did spend time yesterday, okay so it was also with 2 other friends. And then on easter, we went to church together, had dinner together. And the day before, almost the whole day.
So what's up with this "i can handle it" crap? She wants to put more concrete block on my shoulder? She trying to make me feel guilty? She even go as far as saying "well, appreciate me please. I already give this night up didn't i?"
GAH!
mbeek
She likes to say that I'm grassing, like a goat.
Why? Because my chinese zodiac is goat.
And according to her, a lot of people with the goat zodiac likes stay in the same place for a long time - chewing grass.
Not moving, not developing, no thrust, no drive.
Here's my sketch of her thoughts.
Why? Because my chinese zodiac is goat.
And according to her, a lot of people with the goat zodiac likes stay in the same place for a long time - chewing grass.
Not moving, not developing, no thrust, no drive.
Here's my sketch of her thoughts.
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